Buddha or was it Dao or one of that bunch did a talk about the twelve objects of a finger pointing at the moon. I beleive those concept need a bit of air time.
Consider a finger pointing at the moon. The intent is to draw others attention to the moon, yet, upon analysis, there are at least twelve different objects. In the real realm there is the finger, the action of pointing, and the moon. In the realm of the handles to these objects, there are the words, finger, pointing, and the moon. Do we relate to the object or the word, but regardless the word is an object.
For each real object, there is a mental object residing in the mental realm, that is a separate object, but related to the real object. It is these mental objects that we each relate to, not the real, and that raise the problems. Each of us have different mental objects and different handles for the real object. That is the nature of mental objects, the reside only in each individuals mind. They are different.
There in lies the difficulty of communications when we get to complex subjects. It is a wonder that more is not misunderstood. There dozens of handles for each real object, dozens of mental objects that are similar, some slightly different, and then there are at least two separate minds that have been exposed to different paths and learning. Most of what we know has been learned through discussion, not first person learning. It is approximate at best.
Consider overeating: the overeater has three possible reasons:
they do not have control over eating, they want to overeat, they do not care. What other alternatives are there?
Now anyone who has tried to lose weight knows that only one is possible, they do not have control over there eating. Does anyone? I doubt it, but there are many who claim to have control. Anyone who is totally rational may have; sociopaths, psychopaths, and Spok likes. The remainder of us need to gain cooperation of our physical bodies, not be hungry or craving, to be able to "manage our eating".
Oh well, what do I know. Be well, breath deeply, smile easily, and enjoy what life has to offer.